Circle of Jedi Hugs vs. Jedi R Us

[Suzers]

I just want to put out there that for me, at least, it would be a lot easier to keep track of when advice is welcome and when it's not if these subforums had different names. It seems like I'm not the only one, from various posts in reaction to
moderation/admin notes. E.g., it's confusing that Kellis Amberlee's stickied post about advice-giving says it's not welcome in Jedi Hugs, which seems like an abbreviation for Circle of Jedi Hugs, rather than Jedi R Us.

Maybe it would be easier to remember exactly where we are and what the purpose of the subforum is if the names that were displayed were more differentiated and directly indicative of the intended response. Maybe we could rename Jedi R Us to "All Hugs All the Time" or something similarly obvious? Or something about sympathy or comfort?

It would also probably help if the layout were such that the names of the subforums were more prominently displayed in more than one place, but obviously I understand that may be a layout problem that's unfixable due to set formats available on the hosting site.

Anyway, I don't mean to abdicate the responsibilities we users have to pay close attention to the rules! But I do think there's some genuine, innocent confusion that could be partially alleviated by a name change.


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[M.J.]

Hi Suzers! Thanks for the input, I think that's a really neat idea! I'm gonna bring this to the attention to the rest of the team.

In the meantime if you or anyone else have suggestions for other names that you feel would be clearer I'm all ears!

[the_oddest_sock]

Hugs' O' Rama?

Hug-a-palooza?

Hug-a-dammerung?

For whom the bell hugs?

Ah. Stopping myself now for the sake of humanity.

[tobyleaf]

Just Jedi Hugs and then the other one Jedi Advice?

I find the titles confusing too and would like them to be really clear if we are changing them.

[carbonatedwit]

Things are renamed! Thanks for the suggestions!

[Esis]

I LOVE the new names! Sandwiches of love is PERFECT :D

[tobyleaf]

Yay! Now I don't need to worry which one is which!

[deterwhat]

Ooooh this is difficult. Sorry if I don't phrase things well, I'm really bad at things like this but I can try to re-explain.

I 100% support changing the name so these boards don't get confused. But I'm not really thrilled with the name change to Sandwiches of Love. I think a [Food] of Love name for a board is not really a good idea. I know I have, and I have seen many other people report this same thing too, have had experiences with manipulative people, especially manipulative family members, who guilt and attack you to eat some kind of food because it is a Food of Love and by not eating it you are Showing You Do Not Love Them/Rejective Their Love and so you either are either stuck being the mean abusive bully to your dear loving grandmother or else are forced to eat food you do not want at all. So when I see anything called a Food of Love it does not make me think of a nice supportive atmosphere, it makes me think of manipulation and guilt and boundary violations. Does that make any sense?

Maybe this is a singular enough read on it that changing it isn't really worthwhile but I thought I'd speak up...

[muse142]

The Sandwich of Love is a reference to the Captain Awkward advice titled The Sandwich Means “I Love You”.
http://captainawkward.com/2012/02/13/19 ... valentine/

Relevant quotes:

I have a few things I do that I recognize in hindsight are signals that I’m about to spiral down the depression hallway: forgetting to eat is one; *hiding* that I’m not eating is a HUGE one. I told one friend this a while ago, and now whenever he thinks I’m not doing too well he makes a point of asking when the last time I ate was, and what I ate, and if he doesn’t like my answer he makes me food. I truly appreciate that I have friends who are observant enough to notice and caring enough to make sure I’m ok.
...
I’m worried that I’m becoming “that friend,” the one who no one actually wants to be around and who gets made fun of when I’m not around. On my more rational days, I realize that, having dealt with psychiatric issues before, my friends are likely to just tell me if I’m becoming needy or asking too much of them. On my less rational days, I convince myself that I’m crazy and no one likes me and I should just hide in my room and not pester them because then they won’t like me anymore and I’ll be all alone in this city, in addition to being unemployed and single.

I love your friends. They are wicked practical about emotional matters, and when they say “I will make you a grilled cheese now” they are really saying “I love you.“

I’m sorry your Jerkbrain is translating that differently for you. I think it is hearing “I love you…for now…as long as you don’t actually like start to depend on that love and count on it too much and maybe become a burden? Enjoy this grilled cheese of temporary toleration and eventual judgement and abandonment.“

But your friends? They’re just saying “I love you.” Really.

In this case, the Sandwich means "I love you." That's all it means. We're not about shoving sandwiches at people; that's why there's a dedicated space for it. It is a place to go where people will offer nourishment - not force it.

[muse142]

Though tbh, I know those sandwiches you speak of, deterwhat. Those are some unappetizing sandwiches. Those are not Sandwiches of Love; those are Sandwiches of Favor-Sharking and Obligation and Bullying and Boundary-Crossing. We have no room for those sandwiches here.

Here is a link you might enjoy, which reminds me of those terrible sandwiches:
(Link directs to a tumblr post with an animated gif in which a robot arm appears to be attempting to feed a corn curl to a foam head, but it ends up smashing the corn curl repeatedly and forcefully into the face area of the foam head. It is captioned, among other things, "HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE".)
http://ruinedchildhood.com/post/8840264 ... tar-i-keep